Transient Dream
by aplaceinthestars
Summary: Sequel to Simple and Clean....Meryl's past continues to push her away from Vash.
1. Prologue :: Fleeting

A/N :: Well, well, I told you there'd be a sequel and here it is. Newcomers, you're gonna need to read "Simple and Clean" before this.  
  
Thank you Jacey for the Kiwi of Inspiration.  
  
Aaaaand let's all welcome back the disclaimer song:  
  
I don't own Trigun // and if you do // I have no money // please don't sue.  
  
Onward: TO THE INVISIBLE BOATMOBILE! or not.  
  
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Prologue :: Fleeting  
  
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anata wa dare yori mo kore hodo hakanakute (You are, more than anyone else, so fleeting)  
  
boku dake okizari ni doko e yuku no? (Where do you go when you leave just me behind?)  
  
hakanai yume de ii... koe dake wa kikasete (Even a transient dream is fine... You make my voice ask)  
  
kono mama kieru no wa yurusanai (To vanish like this is unforgivable)  
  
dore dake sakende mo... dore dake motomete mo... dore dake kawashite mo... (No matter how much I cry out... no matter how much I ask... no matter how much I evade...)  
  
dore dake dakishimete mo... dore dake nozonde mo... dore dake kizutsukete mo... (No matter how much I embrace you... no matter how much I wish... no matter how much I hurt...)  
  
Gackt :: uncontrol  
  
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Gone.  
  
Gone? No—not possible. Meryl was not the kind of person to simply walk away and never come back; she'd have to have a month to plan, a new place ready, and a whole slew of meticulous lists, all about the kinds of things I'd ask her about and she'd never tell me. I smiled stupidly. THAT was my Meryl.  
  
My feet carried me out into the hall before I could stop them. I found myself spun around the corner to the kitchen where I distantly heard my voice speak to Milly. "Did you see Meryl?"  
  
Milly looked to the door as if it were a great distance away, then back at me. "She said she needed some time to herself, Mr. Vash." Her voice was painfully choked, quiet and shaky. "She took a bag with her, Mr. Vash. I—" She suddenly rubbed her eyes, and I could feel the impending tears as if they were my own. "I don't think she'll be back for a while."  
  
I nodded silently, turning around and staring blankly at the row of doors in the hallway.  
  
"Mr. Vash?"  
  
I looked back at her. "Hmm?"  
  
"You're not going after her?"  
  
"No. I'm not."  
  
"But...why?"  
  
"She's made it pretty clear that she doesn't want my help. I feel bad letting her go, but...what I feel doesn't matter." I watched her expression change from sadness to confused helplessness. "If she won't let me in, I won't push her, Milly."  
  
"But Mr. Vash—"  
  
"Milly, you just don't get it."  
  
That was a mistake—NOW I was getting the one and only Milly Stare. The Don't-Tell-Me-What-I-Know Stare. "Mr. Vash..." She walked stiffly toward me. "Meryl is my best friend, and I know her whether you think I do or not. And if there's one thing I know about her, it's that she loves you more than she's ever loved anyone in her life. She's too scared to admit it so she runs away...but she knows you'll chase her down, because you just can't let her go that easily, can you?" I didn't answer, but I guessed she wasn't really looking for a reply anyway. "If you let her go now, you might never see her again. And if I know either one of you—AND I DO!—you'll both use it as an excuse to spend the rest of your lives alone. Do you know why? I said, do you know why?"  
  
"I—"  
  
"Because you are exactly like her! Don't try to deny it. You two can't get anything done or anything said without the other, because you're two parts of one big puzzle—like my big big sister used to say. And you'll never see the whole picture without the other piece. You'll just be a lonely little dangling puzzle piece with half a picture on one side and soggy cardboard on the other." She paused, glaring at me.  
  
Dead silence, then—  
  
"SO YOU HAD BETTER GO AND GET HER!"  
  
I blinked, and headed immediately for the door.  
  
"Are you going?!"  
  
"Y-yes! Right now!" I opened the door.  
  
"Then MOVE IT, Mr. Vash!"  
  
I took off at full tilt down the street letting my senses—or maybe my heart, if I were that much of a dreamer—lead me. I didn't look back, but just before I had dashed out of earshot, I heard Milly's final bit of sage advice echo through the sandy path:  
  
"If you don't bring her back, I'll never forgive you, Mr. Vash!" 


	2. Chapter One :: Angel Town

A/N :: To the reviewers...  
  
darkraven :: Thank you! Updates away~!  
  
Chibi Chibi :: Milly's always more help than she gets credit for. I think she's so cute XD  
  
PurpleRoses :: Thanks ^^ It's short cuz it's a prologue...the next chapters will be longer.  
  
hannahec88 :: Hehe, well I'll try not to keep you waiting too long. ^^;  
  
Snapdragon76 :: Who better to kick him around than Milly? Well, when Meryl's not there, anyway.  
  
vashfan311 :: Yup. I think I put it in the author's notes...but really, who reads those anyway? (.....me.)  
  
I don't own Trigun, and if you do, I have no money; please don't sue.  
  
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Chapter One :: Angel Town  
  
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She's so pretty  
  
But she'd be a whole lot prettier  
  
If she smiled once in a while  
  
Cos even her smile  
  
Looks like a frown  
  
She's seen her share of devils  
  
In this angel town  
  
Shawn Mullins :: Lullaby  
  
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Human or not, sometimes you just KNOW. It's not a superpower, or some bizarre alien trait—it's more human than a lot of things. And I knew where I was going. I was going to Meryl. No, I didn't know exactly where she was, but that was hardly relevant at the moment. I was going to get her.  
  
"Meryl Strife," I murmured aloud for no real reason.  
  
"What?"  
  
The voice came from behind me, and I jumped. I turned around, and Meryl stood in front of me looking just as she had while I held her just a short time before. Tired, miserable, and altogether not herself—but the same. "M- Meryl?"  
  
"What are you doing? You left Milly by herself after all she's been through today? Vash, you broom-headed—"  
  
"There are people hurting worse than Milly that I thought I should check on first."  
  
"Like who?" She narrowed her smoky violet eyes at me.  
  
"Like someone who insists on giving me the evil eyes every damn time I try to help her out."  
  
"You're an idiot, Vash."  
  
"So I've heard."  
  
"Why can't you just leave me the hell alone?"  
  
"Because I love you." I grinned. "You already know that."  
  
"Do you think I care?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You're wrong."  
  
"I've never had any reason to believe that you don't care about me, Meryl." I smiled a little. She looked startled. "Whether you want to admit it or not, you can't hide everything from me."  
  
"Maybe—maybe you used to be right Vash," She shook her head violently. "But things have changed. I used to love you—okay? I admit it—but..." She trailed off and there was a painful beat of silence. "I just don't think of you the same way I used to."  
  
I stared at her. This was not supposed to happen. She was supposed to go ballistic on me so I could just calm her down and take her home—rationality on Meryl's part was not something I'd worked into my equation. This, of course, was absurd. She was always logical to the point where it got annoying. She considered everything carefully, picked it apart....  
  
That's why she couldn't stay in love. It doesn't make sense.  
  
"I fell for you because you were the only one who would listen to me when I spoke, and would understand me when I didn't. That's all. We have no real connection, Vash. You know that. We never would have met if it weren't for my stupid job and you...being you." She heaved a sigh. "I...I still love you. But—"  
  
"But what? What could you possibly say that could override the fact that you still love me?" I blinked in disbelief. "If you love me, then—"  
  
"Don't start that, Vash. This is hard enough as it is!" I was surprised by the rise in her voice. "Just because you live in your dream world full of love and harmony doesn't mean everyone else does! It's not real—all that stuff she told you when you were a kid—it's all a fantasy! That's what's gotten you into this mess—That's why your brother is dead!"  
  
"No," I snapped angrily. "YOU'RE the reason my brother is dead."  
  
She bit down hard on her lower lip and the harshness of my words suddenly dawned on me. "You..." The expression on her face said plainly that she was either going to kill me or kill herself—and neither option sounded great to me. "You have absolutely no concern for anyone but yourself, do you? You can dance around and yell about love and peace like an idiot all you want, but it's all for you. For your ego, your image, for your sick mind." She shook her head. "I've said this to you many times, however this may be the first time I've truly meant it. I absolutely hate you, Vash the Stampede, and I never want to see you again."  
  
My real hand balled into a fist. I growled, through clenched teeth, "We live in the same house, you damn bitchy insurance girl."  
  
"You can move out or I will." Her face remained emotionless.  
  
"Don't say something you'll regret later, Meryl."  
  
"Maybe you should take your own advice before you go professing love to someone you barely know." She looked away from me. "To someone that doesn't know you at all."  
  
"We've grown closer Meryl. If you think we don't know each other well enough to form a relationship, then talk to me. We can fill all the spaces until—"  
  
"I don't see why we're still discussing this," She broke in sharply. "I told you I don't want to see you anymore."  
  
"We're still discussing this because you're dragging it out." I narrowed my eyes. "You think you have to run away for me to love you, but you're wrong. Just because love has completely screwed you over in the past doesn't mean I'm going to hurt you too."  
  
"Do you want to know the truth?"  
  
"Always."  
  
"You already have."  
  
She walked silently past me and I watched her go. She was probably going to the hotel near the east end of town, either waiting for me to leave or making a new place for herself if I decided to stay. I was about to turn and leave when a flash of color coming from the bag Meryl held caught my eye. Red—bright red. A bold streak of red cloth was tied around the strap of the smallish sack in which Meryl had stuffed whatever she considered her most essential possessions. I squinted in the evening light, focusing my vision on the blood colored band.  
  
It couldn't be, could it? Had she taken it?  
  
Sure enough, my sight finally set on the cloth: a strip some four inches wide and three feet long, wrapped all around the plain black strap and then billowing out behind Meryl in the dry desert wind. It was familiar, although it seemed breathtakingly out of place. The belt from my old red coat flapped wildly behind her as she began to fade into the bright horizon. But...why? I had made a point of getting rid of that thing, and she still...  
  
She kept it.  
  
She kept a part of our past together with her, a part that I tried to get rid of. She kept that little streak of red, rather than a picture or the bracelet I'd given her on her birthday or anything else---don't ask me how I knew she hadn't taken those things; I knew it for the same reasons I'd known where to find her.  
  
"The red geranium," I muttered, "Represents determination."  
  
With that final thought, I started walking again, though I did not turn back to go home.  
  
"I am, after all, the sixty-billion double dollar outlaw known as Vash the Stampede—pursuer of the elusive mayfly known as love." I smiled inwardly. "And this time...I'll catch her." 


	3. Chapter Two :: Charades

A/N :: To the reviewers...  
  
Chibi Chibi :: Yes. Yes you did. But say it again! It's fun! GO VASH!  
  
CaptainMurphysMistress :: Awwww thank you so much. Now I want vanilla pudding, hmmmm...  
  
scathacdhu :: It's get there soon, I promise! Yes, it is the same day—but it's been one hell of a day, and there's still more to come. And don't worry about it; I get so far ahead of myself when I'm writing that we're probably at about the same level. XD  
  
darkraven :: Thank you And here's your update, heehee.  
  
Rainy-days13 :: Haha, glad to see you're still keeping up with this one I'll try to cut down on the wait time a bit. XD  
  
Hmmm, well I haven't decided exactly what the next chapter will bring . . But no begging for smut, you bunch of pervs; I'll throw you a bone eventually. Oo;;  
  
I don't own Trigun, and if you do, I have no money; please don't sue.  
  
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Chapter Two :: Charades  
  
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Charades, pop skill  
  
Water hyacinth, named by a poet  
  
Imitation of life  
  
Like a koi in a frozen pond  
  
Like a goldfish in a bowl  
  
I don't want to hear you cry  
  
That sugarcane that tasted good  
  
That's cinnamon; that's Hollywood  
  
C'mon, c'mon no one can see you try...  
  
R.E.M. :: Imitation of Life - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -  
  
I followed behind Meryl, back enough that she couldn't see me but within my own special sort of "earshot". This was not difficult to balance—if Meryl's physical voice is loud, her mental voice is nearly unbearable. And, perhaps unbeknownst to herself, she was screaming the whole way. She was angry and miserable, and I had to fight the urge not to call out to her—if she missed me so badly, where the hell was she going?  
  
Although the answer was simple enough to read from her as well: she was going, as predicted, to the small motel up ahead. It was a shoddy place, rather dangerous, and I found myself becoming uneasy just at the thought of Meryl going in there by herself. But, I reminded myself, she wouldn't be. Whether she liked it or not, she wasn't going to get rid of me by practically forcing me to follow her around. She could possibly believe I'd walk away and let her go on her merry way, could she?  
  
No. No, she was way too smart for that.  
  
I smiled. So the chase begins.  
  
I'd been pursued by many a bounty hunter in my years, and I'd learned that, above all, underestimating your opponent was the most fatal move you could make. And I would not underestimate my "opponent"—or so I thought. I walked in, trailing her until she entered the motel. I hung back then, waiting and watching through the small front window. A few minutes later, she'd gotten her room and headed up the stairs. I followed.  
  
"Sir? Do you have a room?" An old man behind the front desk looked at me questioningly. He looked to be somewhat suspicious of me.  
  
"Ah, no—I'm just visiting someone." Smooth. Oh yes.  
  
"May I have your name, sir?"  
  
I raised an eyebrow. Forget it—I couldn't waste time with this old cretin. I had a girl to catch. "It's Vash." I turned back to the stairs.  
  
"Don't you head up there just yet, sonny."  
  
Sonny? This couldn't be good. "Err, I'm sorta in a hurry."  
  
"Well that doesn't change our policies." He gestured with a bony hand for me to come to the desk. I obliged, glancing back at the staircase periodically. If she came back down now, I may have blown it... "Now, you say your name is Vash?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"But what's your full name?"  
  
"It's...it's just Vash. Look mister—I really need to—"  
  
"Calm down, sonny, this'll only take a moment." He spoke almost too slowly to follow. Sickeningly ironic.  
  
"Okay, okay."  
  
"Your address...?"  
  
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not sure if I HAVE one right now; that's what I'm trying to find out."  
  
"I see." He scribbled something down on the paper, clearly not feeling the need to rush just for little old me, Vash the freakin' Stampede. "And why is it that you've been following that nice little lady since First Street?"  
  
I twitched slightly. A setup. What a damn setup. And I fell in face first. Resigned to failure, I half-collapsed, resting my forehead smack on the waist-high desk. "You wanna know? Really?" He didn't answer. I didn't look up to see if he was even in the room still. "It's because I love her, and I've dragged her through unholy amounts of trouble in her life, and now I've hurt her really badly, mister. That's it." I closed my eyes. "And I followed her because I'm a selfish bastard and I want her back."  
  
"I see." So, the old coot was still listening—or pretending too. "But why are you telling me?"  
  
"No one else to tell."  
  
"What about your girl?"  
  
"She wouldn't believe me if I pleaded on my knees," I sighed. "Besides, she's not my girl."  
  
"Whose is she then?"  
  
"I don't think she's anybody's. She's so damn hardheaded, you know? But it's all out of self-defense. She's had a hell of a tough life. I just...I just wish I could help her."  
  
"Well, Mr. Vash, I bet if you told her all of that you just told me...she'd hafta listen."  
  
"You think?"  
  
"I don't know. I was just trying to make you feel better, really. You look like you've had the life beat out of you."  
  
"Thanks a whole lot, you old codger."  
  
"Don't think me. I didn't set this whole mess up for you."  
  
"Do you think I don't know that? I should have figured out she'd notice I was following her."  
  
"Outsmarted?"  
  
"As usual."  
  
"Well, all I can tell you is that in all my years, the only thing I've definitely figured out about women is that I'll never figure them out." He shrugged. "You're young. You probably take things for granted—I always did as a kid like you. "  
  
I smiled a little. "I don't know about that."  
  
"Even if you don't realize it, sometimes you just take things for what they are without ever thinking about it. Do you follow me, sonny?" He paused and I nodded. "So maybe you should go talk to that nice little lady before you don't have a chance anymore."  
  
I stood, feeling my determination renewed. "I think..." I looked at the stairs, then back to the man—I was probably ninety years his senior, but I was a hundred years more naive and it hardly mattered. "I think I'll do that now."  
  
I headed towards Meryl's room, faintly hearing some generic cry of encouragement behind me. I spotted a flash of white vanish behind a closing door—Meryl had just gone into her room. Had she been listening? I felt nervous again, but not quite ready to back down. Gathering whatever gall I could, I knocked on the door.  
  
"Meryl?" I whispered. "I know you probably don't want to talk to me, but to be perfectly honest, I don't care—"  
  
The door opened so quickly that i nearly fell into Meryl. She stared at me blankly. "You," She said flatly. "Are unbelievable."  
  
"Well," I put on the most irritating smirk I could muster. "I try."  
  
"Are you going to come in, or just stand there?" She led me inside and closed the door. "If you have something to say that you think will really convince me, you better get it out now, because I don't have time for this."  
  
"Fine." I grabbed her by the shoulders, firmly but not forcefully enough to frighten her away again. "Whether it's convincing or not, the only thing I can tell you is that I love you, I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, and I really wish that you'd come home." She didn't answer for a long time. I shifted in the uncomfortable silence. "Please? I...I miss you."  
  
"I've been gone an hour and you haven't actually left me alone yet, you big dope."  
  
"Okay, strike the last part."  
  
"You can be a real jerk."  
  
"I know."  
  
"You've dragged me through hell."  
  
"I know."  
  
"And I said I wouldn't let you drag me back again."  
  
"I know, but—"  
  
"BUT—I think I can also say that I've been pretty terrible to you, Vash." She moved a little closer to me. "I haven't taken into account everything that's happened to you these past few days. I mean, you...Knives is..." She closed her eyes and leaned against me. "You shot your brother in my defense. You turned my pain on yourself. You...you never, not even for a second, let me feel guilty or worthless after...after it happened." Her voice was becoming softer and more choked. I hoped she wouldn't cry, because I couldn't imagine that I could stay strong for her this time. "You've done nothing but show me love."  
  
"It's all right, Meryl—"  
  
"No," She murmured softly. "It's not."  
  
"It can be," I gently urged. "Do you think you could come home?"  
  
"I...I don't know."  
  
"Not to put any pressure on you—but I think Milly's gonna choke me if I go back without you." I wondered briefly if she thought I was kidding. "Really."  
  
"I need some time to think. You understand, don't you?" She looked at me with a pained, pleading gaze.  
  
"I should go then."  
  
"Well—I don't want Milly to beat you up or anything."  
  
I scowled. "She can't beat me up." She could probably wallop me into submission quickly enough, but I didn't see any reason to mention it.  
  
"But she could hit you pretty hard. You've had enough abuse today." She smiled warmly—a real smile, at last. "You could stay here tonight, I guess, since I already paid for the room. Maybe we could talk things over. I think it would help me...sort everything out." She looked at her feet, the window, and everything but me.  
  
"I think I'd like that." 


End file.
